Supporting a Preschooler Identify Feelings and Handle Emotions

5 Things to Know or Do:

In order to navigate the world around us we must understand our feelings. Yet, feelings are extremely complicated. We can have multiple feelings all at the same time. They are fluid throughout the day and depend on individual perceptions.

1. Expand Feelings Vocabulary: Most preschool age children can identify the “main” four feelings of happy, mad, sad, and scared. However, within these feelings there are many variations. Is someone mad? Or are they frustrated? Furious? To get to a more accurate understanding of feelings, children need a broader range of feelings words to choose from.
2. Read! Read! Read! You can support developing a child’s emotional vocabulary by reading with them. There are many books specifically written with a focus on talking about feelings. See some examples in the 4 things to read section.
3. Provide opportunities to talk about feelings: Feelings faces charts and images abound. Just by clicking on your phone you have a library of emoji feelings faces. You can also print one out from a quick google search and use this to prompt conversations with your child. Ask “How are you feeling?” or read the feelings words and provide examples of when you have experienced that feeling. Remember that feelings are individualized. The same experience can result in different feelings for individuals. For example, riding a roller coaster may be exciting for one person, fun for another, and terrifying for someone else.
4. Charting Emotions: When reading or talking about feelings, write them down or chart them out. This gives a visual for how feelings change and move.
5. Ranking ‘The Intensity’ of Feelings: It is important for children to understand that there are no “good” or “bad” feelings. All feelings happen to everyone at some point in time. There are feelings that are pleasant and that we prefer and then some feelings that make us uncomfortable. Children can become more knowledgeable about feelings by ranking the intensity of various feelings. For example, if a child says he is angry, ask “On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being furious, how angry are you?”

 4 Children Read Alouds

1. The Color Monster: A Story About Emotions by Anna Llenas (Fairfax Library) “Unpack feelings with color in this international bestseller that helps young readers identify emotions and feel more in control. One day, Color Monster wakes up feeling very confused. His emotions are all over the place; he feels angry, happy, calm, sad, and scared all at once! To help him, a little girl shows him what each feeling means through color. As this adorable monster learns to sort and define his mixed up emotions, he gains self-awareness and peace as a result. Everyone will enjoy sharing this concept book that taps into both socio-emotional growth and color concepts in a simple, friendly way.”

2. The Way I Feel by Janan Cain (Fairfax Library) “Janan Cain's kids ooze anger and bounce with excitement as they teach the words for emotions.”
3. Today I Feel Silly & Other Moods That Make My Day by Jamie Lee Curtis. (Fairfax Library) “Jamie Lee Curtis' zany and touching verse, paired with Laura Cornell's whimsical and original illustrations, helps kids explore, identify, and even have fun with their ever-changing moods. Silly, cranky, excited, or sad—everyone has moods that can change each day. And that’s okay! Follow the boisterous, bouncing protagonist as she explores her moods and how they change from day to day.”
4. The Feelings Book by Todd Parr (available at the Fairfax Library in English and Spanish) “Sometimes I feel silly. Sometimes I feel like eating pizza for breakfast. Sometimes I feel brave. Sometimes I feel like trying something new...The Feelings Book vibrantly illustrates the wide range of moods we all experience. Kids and adults will appreciate Todd Parr's quirky intelligence as he pays special attention to the ever-changing, sometimes nonsensical emotions that we all feel. Targeted to young children first beginning to read, this book will inspire kids to discuss their multitude of feelings in a kid-friendly, accessible format, told through Parr's trademark bold, bright colors and silly scenes.”

3 Articles to Read

1. kidshelpline: Helping Kids Identify and Express Feelings
2. Nationwide Children's: Using Emotional Language: How to Talk to Your Kids About Feelings
3. NYSED: Getting Ready for School: Helping Your Child Learn About Feelings

 2 Videos to View

1. Inside Out: Guessing the feelings (YouTube)
2. A Little Spot Of Feelings (Read Aloud on YouTube)

 1 Point to Access Research

1. Science Daily: Putting Feelings Into Words Produces Therapeutic Effects In The Brain - UCLA 2007

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