When Stacy Barr was in his early 50s, he was a successful businessman who had traveled the world and experienced much of what life had to offer. He was happy but knew he wanted to share his joy with someone else. That’s why he decided to become a foster dad to 14-year-old Dakota. Afterward, he began to look at life differently. “Having Dakota come into my home did way more than I ever imagined in terms of fulfilling something in me,” Stacy said. “I was able to give someone love and be loved by someone. . .and it could happen in any home if people would allow a teenager to come into their home.”  

 Stacy says becoming a parent to an older youth is the most rewarding thing he has ever done. Dakota’s adoption was finalized in 2020. Their story has been a success, but it wasn’t always easy. Stacy and Dakota both admit that there were some challenges at the start. However, Stacy believes that anyone who wants to become a foster parent for the right reasons can successfully care for an older youth. “You have to help them navigate the things they face and be open to their mind and their personality, which will be different from yours,” Stacy noted. “They may come in with ideas that are different from yours, and you have to be open to discussions about that. It will be successful if your heart is in the right place.” 

 Stacy and Dakota credit their family’s success to open, honest communication and consistent dedication and support from the beginning. Stacy says that anytime an issue arose or a correction was needed, the two of them would discuss it together. He says he would explain to Dakota why he felt the way he did and the reasons he didn’t want him to go down a certain path. Over time, that led to developing a stable, trusting bond between them. “It definitely took some time,” Dakota recalled. “My dad made a pretty consistent effort to reinforce my strengths, and I could tell every time that he just cared. I could tell he was interested in my growth, and that’s what’s needed when caring for a child.” 

 Since meeting Stacy, Dakota has maintained some connections with his family of origin and friends from his former school and community. Dakota says those meaningful, lasting connections have helped him thrive. “I had to make choices about who I was bringing into my life going forward,” Dakota said. “I didn’t come from a good environment, so I had to sit down and discuss cutting off some of those connections. I felt like I was abandoning my past, but the connections I did bring with me allowed me to keep that connection to my past while moving on from it. It allowed me to control my own journey through foster care. I now see my sister consistently. That is really the strongest connection I have kept.” 

 Dakota is now enrolled in college, studying biology and chemistry, hoping to become a physician. He and Stacy recently recorded a video for AdoptUSKids highlighting the importance of adoption for older youth. Additionally, they recently launched a nonprofit, More To The Story, which aims to help children and families in need in their community in Mississippi and provide guidance to other foster and adoptive families. The goal is to help others navigate challenges, learn to communicate, and build trust as they have. “We have a vase here in our house with broken glass of all colors in it, and the saying on it is ‘Broken and beautiful.’ That’s a picture of anybody’s life,” Stacy stated. “You may feel shattered, but those broken pieces can be beautiful as well.”