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Contents:
 Popularized by Stephen Covey, this concept explores three spheres:
- The Circle of Concern – the wide range of worries we might have about a topic
- The Circle of Influence – a narrowing of the first circle into those worries we can do something about – either directly or indirectly
- The Circle of Control – an even smaller circle, representing the things we can actually directly do something about
Human beings can choose where they focus their energy and attention. If we focus on the concerns outside our influence, we risk increasing our stress and falling into the space of accusing, blaming, and victimization.
By choosing to focus on the circle of influence – we move into a more proactive space. Rather than spending energy on things we can do nothing about, we can take steps that make a positive difference – calling on our strengths and connections. And we can also choose to let go of concerns that are not serving us well.
Why it’s useful
Facilitating this thinking in yourself, or in others, helps to limit wasteful rumination and inaction. Altering thinking to a proactive focus can enhance productivity, help people see a greater connection to progress and achievement, and also to build resilience.
How/when to apply it
When your team member is trying to make sense of a challenge, consider:
- Sharing the concept with them and the ideas behind it.
- Draw a circle and have them brainstorm all the areas of concern for the current issue.
- On another page, draw two circles – this time with the circle of influence in the middle. Referring to the first circle, ask questions to help identify things that are in their sphere of influence – things they can either control or influence – and clearly identify those things that are not. Jot them down.
- When you hear a response such as “I can’t do anything about that?” challenge that thinking to see if there is any room to expand the sphere of influence – “What would need to happen for that to change?” What is one small thing that could help here?’ Self-limiting beliefs might be at play here.
- Once it is clear what is outside the sphere of influence and control – help them understand that there is no value in spending any more time worrying about them. It is time to put them to one side and ‘let them go’.
- Encourage them to commit to an action plan
- Agree on appropriate touch points to check–in on progress.
Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it. -Charles Swindoll
How to Stop Taking things Personally
- Realize that other people’s rudeness is not about you. When someone is rude it’s likely a reflection of their own issues.
- Ask Yourself what else the comment or behavior might mean. For example, if someone doesn’t smile or say hello, they might be shy.
- Take comments or criticism in a constructive way. Ask yourself if there’s any truth to it, and what you can learn.
- Take a different perspective. Ask yourself how an unbiased outsider would see the situation.
- Realize that you can’t please everyone.
- Know that you’re not defined by your mistakes or criticism.
- Realize that your self-worth depends on you. It does not depend on what others say about you.
Stay hydrated: Just because it is not summer and you are not sweating, does not mean you don’t need to stay hydrated. By default, I just don’t drink as much during the winter months and I have to consciously make an effort to drink the recommended 8-10 glasses of water. Your body loses moisture everyday regardless of the temperature so you need to stay hydrated. Adequate hydration is important for your immune function, skin radiance and of course your mood and energy levels!
Take some Vitamin D. Winter months mean shorter days and staying indoors more (around a cozy fire!). Vitamin D is important because it keeps your bones strong and may contribute to the prevention or treatment of other diseases. We don’t just get vitamin D from the sun, we also get it from food we eat. Eggs, salmon, fortified cereal, milk and cheese can all be good sources. Over forty percent of adults in the US are deficient in Vitamin D and you may be one of them! It’s best to talk to your doctor before starting a new supplement. For more information on the importance of Vitamin D and the different types of supplements, read here.
Pay attention to the air. Colder months have less humidity and drier air, which can affect your skin and some respiratory conditions. When do you need it? I used to have a lot of nosebleeds as a child because of dry air – and that was one reason my mom got a humidifier! You may be noticing drier skin, chapped lips or congestion – a humidifier will help with all of these. If you do use one, just make sure you clean it regularly. A dirty humidifier can promote the growth of bacteria and mold.
Boost your immunity. A healthy immune system is the first line of defense against bacteria, viruses and other little invaders that make us sick. There are several things that we can do to keep our immune system strong – exercising regularly, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, eating balanced meals, managing our stress and not getting too worn down. Often people turn to supplements – the data is weak for some of them but zinc, vitamin C, Echinacea and elderberry are some of the more common immune support supplements. Above all, don’t forget to wash your hands!
Stock up on seasonal produce. Eating foods during their peak season ensures you get the full nutrient and vitamin content. It’s also has a positive effect on the environment as your food is often more local and traveling less. Turnips, sweet potatoes, celery, and cauliflower are seasonal vegetables that pair well with a hearty soup or stew. Get creative with your sides and try to incorporate a seasonal fruit or vegetable into your meals once a day.
Download a workout. For those days where it’s too cold to run outside or too hard to roll out of bed and go to the gym, having a go-to workout that will start your day right and break a sweat will be key to keeping your exercise routine on track. There are so many good options – the point is to find one or two that you love so that you will stick to it.
Read a book. As Oprah said “[reading] gives you the ability to reach higher ground. And keep climbing”. And reading literally strengthens the connectivity in your brain. The winter months are perfect for cozying up with a blanket, some hot cocoa and diving into a book (that isn’t pharmacology!).
Switch up your moisturizer. I usually change my daily moisturizer during the winter months as my skin gets drier and I find that I need something a little heavier. For daytime, I like gels and serums that hydrate and really penetrate the skin, and for nighttime, I pick some thicker moisturizers. I also choose heavier body lotions and oils. Don’t forget to avoid hot showers as they can overly dry out your skin and moisturize right after you get out of the shower or bath. R
Be Grateful. November is National Gratitude Month and of course, we all pause on Thanksgiving to give thanks. But should we be practicing gratitude the rest of the year too? Research says yes! Individuals who practice gratitude regularly have higher incomes, relationships that are more satisfying and less instances of depression. There is also some amazing research from Duke that says writing down “three good things” before bed each night increases resilience and decreases stress. Keeping a gratitude journal, meditating or getting out in the world and serving others is a wonderful way to maintain the practice of gratitude.
Thank you for your service to OSDE & the State of Oklahoma!
27 years - Carole Tomlin
26 years - Jennifer Horton
25 years - Nancy McCullough
19 years - Lori Jackson
16 years - Jennifer Newman
13 years - Kathy Black
12 years - Nancy Goosen
11 years - Shelly Eller
9 years - Ramona Riggs
7 years - Becky Gilbert
6 years - Lacey Moroney
5 years - Pamela Merrill, Amber Spicer, Kida Upshaw, Lesa Rohrer
4 years - Tosin Akande, Kim Strain
3 years - Nat Barrack, Laura Arnold, Amanda Rainbolt
2 years - Jackie White, Megan Horton
1 year - Lisa Witcher, Abby Anderson, Queen McDaniel, Caroline Misner
Wishing you a happy and healthy birthday month!
11/02 Kelly Carter
11/03 Kim Bigham
11/06 Kim Hale, Autumn Kouba
11/07 Cindy Swearingen, Sierra Pruitt
11/08 Tracie Raibourn, Lori Kimbrough, Deb Wade, Missy Vines
11/09 Jill Johnson, Stacy Eden
11/10 Andrea Chrisman
11/11 Kim Strain, Rick Pool
11/13 Jackie White
11/14 Misty Farber, Lisa Witcher, Lori Burroughs
11/16 Tatijana Woodhouse
11/18 Naneida Lazarte Alcala, Heidi Rusinek, Ramona Riggs
11/19 Emma Winters-Difani
11/20 Brittney Wallace
11/22 Karen Leonard
11/23 Norcetta Blandon
11/24 Shante Fenner, Megan Ashbaugh, Janee' Talley
11/25 Kristen Coleman, Mike Tamborski, Brooke Gebb
11/27 Heather Hancock
11/28 Jennifer Weber, Lindsay Moore, Yidong Zhang, Mary Mazariegos
11/29 Rebecca Whitehead
11/30 Kathy Black
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