What does it take to bring people together in powerful and constructive ways? Professional facilitator Priya Parker answers that question in The Art of Gathering. Below are six insights from Parker's book and her recent Gathering Makeover series that can help anyone who hosts meetings do it better.
1) Make purpose your “bouncer.” Parker encourages setting a bold and specific purpose for each meeting. What will be different after this meeting? What specific need or problem is this meeting designed to meet or solve? When you have a clear purpose, you have a powerful guide —or bouncer — to decide which people, activities, and location should be part of the meeting.
A wise colleague once advised Parker that 90 percent of what makes a gathering successful is put in place beforehand.
Once you know why you're meeting, the invitation primes participants by letting them know what to expect beyond the logistics of date, time, and place. Specifically, the name of the event tells a story and signals to participants what their role is and what level of engagement is expected.
Tip: If your meeting's purpose requires a high level of sharing, Parker recommends groups of six.
2) Decide on a meeting structure based on the purpose. As Parker sees it, meetings provide the opportunity to build a temporary, alternative world. The host's job is to help people transition to and from that world.
The aim of the opening for a meeting is to engage your attendees within the first few minutes, or first 5%, of your meeting to create a sense of togetherness. One way to bring people together in online meetings is to ask the group a question with a quick “chatfall” or “chatstorm” (the cascade of responses in the chat box).
The closing helps participants connect one last time, internalize the meaning and purpose of the meeting, and plan to move forward with what they just gained.
3) Don't be a chill host. A good host uses their power for the good of the group to help it achieve its purpose. All too often a relaxed host leaves a vacuum that is then filled by others who exercise power in ways counter to the meeting's intent. Purpose and ground rules require enforcement, or others may step in to alter them. Thus, hosts walk a balance between allowing participants freedom and holding them accountable.
4) Protect participants. Parker wants meeting hosts to protect participants from one another, from boredom, and from distractions like cellphones. By playing the "bad cop," the meeting host prioritizes the collective experience, including above anyone who might ruin the experience for the other attendees.
5) Equalize participants. Parker recommends that meeting hosts be aware of power dynamics and work to equalize them. One way the host can equalize participants is by leaving titles and degrees at the door. Another technique is to hold everyone to the same standard — for example, with 60-second sharing turns. Setting up meeting rules up front can also level the playing field by laying out expectations. For example, at a Jeffersonian Dinner “you cannot talk to the person next to you, you can only to talk to the entire table.” Health@Work staff meetings have a rule that everyone who is physically able to stands during the first few minutes of the meeting.
6) Connect participants to the meeting purpose and each other. To foster connections, design the meeting with that end in mind. Parker recommends having social time where people share experiences and stories rather than abstract ideas. Frequent short introductions also help people connect. Asking polling questions like "Who also wonders about that?" creates a web of connection. Lastly, by giving people meeting roles, they have an excuse to connect and make the meeting go better by modeling engaged participation.
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