Issue 100

The Boulder County Area Agency on Aging (BCAAA) Caregiver Initiative is focused on empowering and supporting caregivers of older adults. Learn more about what we offer at boco.org/Caregiving.

Upcoming Caregiver Events

Details for Living with Dementia: Insights and Strategies for the Caregiver and Caregiving Office Hours are at the start of the newsletter.

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If you would like to talk to a Resource Specialist about your situation as a caregiver, please email infoCaregiver@bouldercounty.gov. Tell us your name, contact info, and a few sentences about your caregiving situation.    

Disclaimer: Boulder County Community Services is not a healthcare provider and cannot provide medical advice. This resource is provided for informational purposes only. Individuals should seek medical advice directly from a licensed medical professional.

Ask a Caregiving Expert

Dear Caregiver,

Over the next two editions we are featuring an article from the Family Caregiver Alliance that highlights the “Emotional Side of Caregiving.” Please note that BCAAA has caregiving professionals available to discuss these issues in full. You can best reach us at 303-441-1617 and asking for a Caregiving Resource Specialist.

Take good care,

Your BCAAA Caregiving Team

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Whether you become a caregiver gradually or all of sudden due to a crisis, or whether you are a caregiver willingly or by default, many emotions surface when you take on the job of caregiving. Some of these feelings happen right away and some don’t surface until you have been caregiving for a while. Whatever your situation, it is important to remember that you, too, are important. All of your emotions, good and bad, about caregiving are not only allowed, but valid and important.

Many feelings come up when you are caring for someone day in and day out. Many caregivers set out saying, “This won’t happen to me. I love my mother, father, husband, wife, sister, brother, friend, etc.” But after a while, the “negative” emotions that we tend to want to bury or pretend we aren’t feeling come up. Caregivers are often reluctant to express these negative feelings for fear they will be judged by others (or judge themselves) or don’t want to burden others with their problems.

If you don’t deal with ALL of your emotions, they can be like a two-year-old who wants your attention: they will keep tugging at you until you stop and acknowledge them. Not paying attention to your feelings can lead to poor sleep, illness, trouble coping, stress eating, substance abuse, etc.  When you admit to your feelings, you can then find productive ways to express them and deal with them, so that you and the care receiver can cope better in the future.

This fact sheet will identify some of the common, often hard to admit, feelings that caregivers experience. Once identified, suggestions for how you might better cope with these feelings are offered.

If only we were perfect we would not feel . . .

AMBIVALENCE

This is the feeling of both wanting to be doing what you are doing and the feeling of not wanting to be doing it. On bad days, one often has the feeling of wishing you didn’t have to be there, that this ordeal will be over soon. On good days, caring for someone can be a gift to both you and the care receiver.

Coping:  Allow yourself to feel both sets of feelings. Everyone has these feelings sometimes. Neither the bad feelings nor the good ones will last forever.

ANGER

How often have you “lost it” while providing care?  Or felt like you were on your last nerve? Anger and frustration are a normal part of being around someone who needs help on an ongoing basis and who might not be accepting of help. Caring for someone with dementia, in particular, can be even harder, as the care receiver can be irrational and combative. It’s not always possible to be in perfect control of your emotions. Anger “just comes out” sometimes.

Coping:  Forgive yourself. Find constructive ways to express yourself, learn to walk away and give yourself a “time out.” Identify supportive people you can talk to who will listen as you vent about the things that happened that day.

ANXIETY

Feeling like things are out of control and not knowing how to bring them back into control often produces feelings of anxiousness. Anxiety can emerge as a short fuse, the impulse to run away, not sleeping, heart palpitations, or the urge to cry.

Coping: Pay attention to your anxiety—it is our body’s early warning system that something isn’t right. When you feel anxious: Stop. Breathe. Keep breathing. Pray. Meditate. Make some tea. Anything that will give you a break from what is happening in the moment.

BOREDOM

It is easy to become bored when you are stuck at home taking care of someone else and not doing things that fulfill your own wants and needs. And by the end of the day, you are often too tired to pursue something of interest to you.

Coping: Respite can help. Getting a break from caregiving and having some time for yourself will not only increase your patience and resilience but will give you a chance to do something that is meaningful to you, whether it is socializing, going for a walk, or reading a good book.                             

CRANKINESS, IRRITABILITY

When tired and stressed, it is harder to stay in control of the things we say and feel. Feelings can go up and down very rapidly. We can lash out at the littlest thing because we have no reserve.

Coping: If you find yourself feeling cranky and irritable, you probably need a break. One might need to get some rest, as we are in less control when tired. Often we will turn to alcohol or our favorite junk food to reward ourselves when feeling this way. It’s more beneficial to keep a journal or talk with a friend or professional to let off steam.

DEPRESSION, SADNESS

As a caregiver, you are at risk for depression. Sometimes this is feeling hopeless or helpless, the inability to sleep, or trouble getting up and facing the day. And sometimes it makes you want to cry. (See FCA fact sheet Depression and Caregiving - Family Caregiver Alliance.)

Coping:  Depression is treatable and should be taken seriously. Professional help is available. Talk to your physician if you think you might be depressed, join a caregiver support group, find a counselor who understands caregiving, and ask for help from friends and family. Exercise. Moving your body is a proven way to relieve some of the symptoms of depression.          

DISGUST

Having to help toilet someone can be too intimate an experience for many caregivers. If the care receiver is incontinent of stool as well as urine, then changing an adult diaper can be nauseating and repulsive. Having to clean the private body parts of someone, like a parent, can be unnerving and uncomfortable. Watching someone eat sloppily or not care for personal appearance, or having to clean up vomit can also cause feelings of disgust.

Coping:  The hardest thing about accepting our revulsion to these things is that the care receiver is not in control of these behaviors. But sometimes we think they are doing it on purpose just to get to us. Or we feel guilty because we think we should be accepting but we are not. Finding ways to minimize your need to do personal care tasks including incontinence care is vital to weathering your caregiver journey, which could stretch on for years. Hire an attendant to do routine care or have someone from the family do these things who might cope better. Also, learn tricks to make tasks easier (e.g. during mealtimes consider, using a spoon that is designed to be spill resistant.)

An occupational therapist can help you find this tool and other tools to make mealtime easier and more enjoyable for both of you. It’s important to know that when it comes to incontinence, you are not alone. Incontinence is one of the main reasons given for placing someone in a facility. There are resources to aid you in dealing with bathroom problems, such as a webinar entitled Moving Beyond the Leakages: Practical Strategies to Manage Incontinence - Family Caregiver Alliance.

EMBARRASSEMENT

Does your care receiver make impolite comments when you are out in public? Does he or she need to use the restroom right away and make a scene as you try to find one? Does he or she refuse to bathe and now have body odor? It is easy for us to feel responsible for the behavior of someone else and feel like it is our fault when these things happen.

Coping: Some people create cards (similar to business cards) which read, “My loved one has dementia and can no longer control their behavior” that they hand out to those around them when they are having trouble, especially in restaurants. (You can get these through your local Alzheimer’s Association, and they can also be ordered on Amazon). Some people just stop leaving the house because this is such a difficult problem to manage; it’s easier to stay home. Others have friends, family members, or an attendant accompany them when they go out to offer assistance, when needed.

FEAR

What if something happens? Will I be able to cope? Will I feel guilty? Am I responsible for things that go wrong? Caregivers take on a huge amount of responsibility, not only for the day-to-day care of the care receiver, but also for all the other things that “might” happen while being a caregiver. Scaring ourselves about the “what ifs” can be paralyzing and keep us from enjoying the “what is.”

Coping: It is important to have contingency plans. So, it might make sense to have a backup caregiver in mind in case something should happen to you, or to think about how you would handle predictable medical emergencies based on what disabilities your care receiver has. When you get scared, it is often helpful to talk to someone who knows your situation and can give you perspective and calm your fears.    

FRUSTRATION

Frustration is part of many other feelings, such as ambivalence, anger, and impatience. Sometimes, as a caregiver, you feel that you can’t do anything right or that things just don’t go as planned no matter what you do or how hard you try. And if you are tired, you are more likely to get frustrated. Frustration may lead to stress eating, substance abuse, and a higher likelihood of losing your temper.

Coping:  Acknowledge how frustrating caregiving can be. Join a support group to learn the tricks other caregivers have learned to make coping easier. Get breaks from caregiving so you have time for YOU and a chance to refresh your energy. Exercise. Sleep

Written by Donna Schempp, LCSW

Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA) seeks to improve the quality of life for caregivers through education, services, research, and advocacy. Through its National Center on Caregiving, FCA offers information on current social, public policy, and caregiving issues and provides assistance in the development of public and private programs for caregivers.

The Longmont Senior Center has expanded its hours and is now OPEN Monday-Thursday, 8 a.m.-8 p.m.; Friday 8 a.m.-5 p.m.; Saturday 8 a.m.-noon. Their resource specialists and counselors are now offering home visits and in-person appointments. Check out classes from City of Longmont Senior Services at www.longmontcolorado.gov/GO. Email: senior@longmontcolorado.gov Phone: 303-651-8411 Sign up for weekly email updates by visiting Longmont Senior Services or emailing senior@longmontcolorado.gov.

Caregiver Services for friends or family members caring for an older adult in Longmont include:

• Caregiver Consultations and Family Meetings: Referrals & information about adult day programs, home health care, long-term care, counseling, caregiver self-care, etc.
• Respite & Companion Volunteer Program and Respite Assistance Referrals: Volunteers matched with older adults who live alone or with a family caregiver provide respite, a friendly visit, and a caring connection. Respite Assistance funds can help pay for respite care for a caregiver.
• Social Groups and Educational Programs for family caregivers and those living with dementia (options may vary quarterly).
• Caregiver Support Groups provide information and support for family caregivers; no registration required: 
• 1st Monday, 6–7:30 p.m. at Longmont Senior Center
• 2nd Tuesday, noon – 1:30 p.m. (Alzheimer’s Assn. group) at Longmont Senior Center

Questions? Call Kayleigh Schernbeck with City of Longmont Senior Services at 303-774-4497.

Self-Care Techniques for Caregivers

Please register in advance at 303-651-8411. Registration #485082-24

Monday, Sept. 16, 5:30–6:30 p.m.

Brenda Gurung will introduce three proactive and reactive interventions for caregivers and care partners: laughter therapy, horticulture activities and art practice. We will incorporate modifications for individuals with cognitive impairment or dementia. We'll also discuss briefly other interventions (reminiscence, music and sensory) as well as strategies to identify triggers for behavioral expressions.

Introduction to the Conversation Project

Please register in advance at 303-651-8411. Registration #485166-01.

Tuesday, Sept. 17, 1–2:30 p.m.

Participants will gain insights into conversations about healthcare preferences and the best ways to ensure their wishes for care through the end of life are honored. We will explore topics such as identifying a healthcare agent, basic advance care planning, advance directives, how to have "the conversation", building a support network and accessing community resources. Designed for individuals navigating the journey of aging alone or in partnership with others. Presented by Becki Parr, Project Coordinator of The Conversation Project in Boulder County (TCPBC).

Conversation Starter Film Series: Lost Memories: A Telenovela About Families and Dementia

Follow the Ramirez family as they face the challenges of Alzheimer's disease in this fictional, but very true-to-life, telenovela series. Each episode runs 8–10 min long; we will pause for discussion after each episode.

Season 1: Monday, Sept. 30, 1–2:30 p.m. Registration #484551-09

On Sept. 30 we will watch Season 1, which explores the process of acknowledging and evaluating dementia symptoms and how it can impact a family.

Season 2: Monday, Oct. 7, 1–2:30 p.m. Registration #484551-10

On Oct. 7 we will watch Season 2, which explores caring for someone in the middle stages of dementia.

Please register in advance at 303-651-8411.

Avoiding Medicare Open Enrollment Mistakes

Please register in advance at 303-651-8411. Registration #484503-24

Monday, Sept. 23, 10–11:30 a.m.

Brought to you by Boulder County’s ONLY SHIP Medicare office. This time is set aside for you to meet our Medicare counseling team, learn the do’s and don'ts of Open Enrollment, and identify how to prepare. Medicare's open enrollment period runs October 15th through Dec. 7th. Your coverage should be evaluated every year: networks change, prices change, and formularies are updated. Be prepared! Mistake number one is not evaluating your drug plan every year during Open Enrollment.

City of Boulder Older Adult Services offers a variety of health and wellness, lifelong learning, aging in place, special interest groups, and travel/trip opportunities. Many programs are offered online as well as in-person at the East and West Age Well Centers. Case Managers are available to assist City of Boulder residents 60+ and their caregivers with referrals to community resources, options counseling, and financial support for eligible clients. To speak with a Case Manager, please call 303-441-4388. For a complete list of Sept. programs and services, please visit the website to view the “Let’s Age Well!” program guide. For weekly updates, register online to receive the Age Well e-Newsletter.

Community Protection Division Drop-in Office Hours

West Age Well Center, Monday, Sept. 9, 10:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m.

Older adults can meet with a Community Protection Specialist for 15-30 minutes to discuss personal situations and ask questions.

SPARK and Groundworks Art Lab Pottery Class

West Age Well Center, Tuesday, Sept. 10, 1–2:30 p.m.

This program is designed for individuals with neurodegenerative diseases, including dementia, Alzheimer's and Parkinson's, who are accompanied by their caregiver or partner. Participants will learn about the fundamentals of pottery to make functional and whimsical pieces.

Plant Nutrition Basics

East Age Well Center, Thursday, Sept. 12, 10-11 a.m.

Participants will gain an understanding of the vital role played by fruits, legumes, vegetables, and whole grains in promoting optimal health and preventing chronic disease.

Affordable Rental Options with Boulder Housing Partners

West Age Well Center, Wednesday, Sept. 25, 2-3 p.m.

Boulder Housing Partners is the Housing Authority for the City of Boulder and offers a variety of housing options including section 8 communities, housing choice vouchers, affordable rentals, and market rate rentals. Join this class to review the different programs, how to apply, and housing programs under development. 

How to Navigate Death and Dying

East Age Well Center, Friday, Sept. 27, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

This workshop on navigating death and dying will provide information on hospice, including the role of hospice, tools and tips, and the importance of having conversations with loved ones. Participants will receive a workbook of resources and leave with a better understanding of options, resources, and tools. 

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West Age Well Center:  909 Arapahoe Avenue, Boulder | 303-441-3148

Monday – Friday, 9 a.m.–4 p.m.

Meals on Wheels’ Eat Well Café: Monday – Friday, 11 a.m.–1 p.m.

East Age Well Center:  5660 Sioux Drive, Boulder | 303-413-7290

Monday – Friday, 8 a.m.–4:30 p.m.

Town of Erie Parks & Recreation - Active Adults

Erie Active Adults staff are available, Monday through Friday, 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Email: ActiveAdults@erieco.gov Phone: 303-926-2795 The Town of Erie's Active Adults program provides a Senior Nutrition Lunch Program at the Erie Community Center. Reservations are required by calling 303-926-2569 or emailing ActiveAdults@erieco.gov prior to the meal date. Check out upcoming Active Adults programming here.

Bingo

Tuesday, Sept. 10, 1-2 p.m.

Join the fun in this friendly game of BINGO and an afternoon of connecting with friends. Registration is not required. Prizes sponsored by The Bridge at Longmont.

Dinner and Concert with Soda Blue

Friday, Sept. 20, 6-8 p.m. (Register by Sept. 15)

Soda Blue is a dynamic high energy pop and smoky R&B band. Their joking and sense of fun turns their show into something more than just music. They bring your favorite tunes to life and will give you great memories to take home. Catered dinner provided - sesame ginger with stir fry vegetables, jasmine rice, fortune cookie, pineapple, roll. Cash bar available. Event sponsored by Kaiser Permanente.

Community Resource Fair

Thursday, Sept. 26, 11 a.m.-1 p.m.

Visit the Resource Fair at the Erie Community Center to learn about resources available to anyone 60+ through Boulder and Weld County Area Agencies on Aging. Resources could include: financial, caregiver or respite assistance, home services, dental, vision and hearing assistance, grandparents raising grandchildren, etc. Registration is not required.

Movies Together

Friday, Sept. 27, 1 p.m. (Register by Sept. 23. The fee is $4 for residents and $5 for non-residents.)

Enjoy a movie in a small group setting. Movie selections will be posted in Amilia one month in advance of the showing. Drinks and snacks will be included in your registration fee. Social time begins at 12:30 p.m.

The Lafayette Senior Center (103 S. Iowa Avenue) is open Monday through Thursday, 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. and on Fridays from 8:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. Call 303-665-9052 or email olderadults@lafayetteco.gov to register. For more information, visit lafayetteco.gov/seniors.

Pickleball Fall Prevention

Wednesday, Sept. 4, 2:30-3:30 p.m.

Join Doctor of Physical Therapy and Pickleball treatment specialist Charlotte Robinson as she discusses ways to avoid injury on the courts! Dr. Charlotte will be discussing safety, balance, and other common injury prevention tips to keep you safe on the courts and also improve your confidence while playing. She'll be taking a deep dive into how our balance system works, joints that are vital to maintain good balance to avoid falls and addressing the 3 most common injuries seen in pickleball players over 65.

CSU Extension – Nature Walks (English)

Friday, Sept. 9, 10-11 a.m.

Join Boulder County CSU Extension Specialists, Emma Dhimitri and Lyndsay Gonzalez on a walk-in nature to learn about native Colorado plants and the connection between nature and our health. Enjoy the natural beauty of the Colorado and connect with others! 

Bird Sanctuary

Thursday, Sept. 19, 8 a.m.-2 p.m.

We will visit the Bird Conservancy of the Rockies, connecting with the land and birds.   Take a 1-hour educational tour on birds of the Rockies and visit the Nature center.  We will stop for lunch on the return.  Trip includes transportation and tickets.  Bring comfortable walking shoes, hat, sunscreen, sunglasses, water bottle and snack for the tour and money for lunch.  

Older Adult Resource Fair

Friday, Sept. 20, 9 a.m.-noon

We warmly invite you to attend our Resource Fair! Immerse yourself in a vibrant gathering where you can engage with informational 12 speakers, over 30 community resources, and much more. Breakfast will be provided, so we highly encourage registering for this event. 

Matisse Famous Art (Blue Nude)

Monday, Sept. 30, 1:30-3:30 p.m.

Spend an afternoon creating artwork in a Matisse way, using paper that is abstract or realistic.  This was created from the French painter, Matisse, using painted paper. Cost includes the supplies and instructor.    

Louisville Senior Services

Louisville Senior Services at the Recreation & Senior Center offers a variety of trips, classes, and activities, as well as Brooks Café indoor dining and Grab N Go lunch. Senior Resources help in the areas of transportation, housing, legal assistance, financial guidance, and medical equipment loans are also available. For more information, contact Katie Beasley at 303-335-4914 or visit the website at www.louisvillerecreation.com Louisville Senior Services are located at 900 W Via Appia Way in Louisville.

Louisville Senior Services

Louisville Recreation & Senior Center

900 W Via Appia Way, Louisville | 303-666-7400

Louisville Senior Services at the Recreation & Senior Center currently offers a variety of trips, classes and activities, as well as Brooks Café indoor dining and Grab N Go lunch. Senior Resources help in the areas of transportation, housing, legal assistance, financial guidance and medical equipment loans are also available.  For more information, contact Katie Beasley at 303-335-4914 or visit the website at www.louisvillerecreation.com