|
 The upgraded Vice Mayor out in the Community.
As of today, all of Ward 3 – myself, all staff, and all office functions – have been replaced by vastly superior Artificial Intelligence (AI). Thanks to grants from Microsoft, Google, Nvidia, and DataRobot, all city functions of Ward 3 will be performed by AI. Most work will be virtual, though the office will still be open to the public and staffed by DahlBot (pictured above), who will also attend Mayor and Council meetings.
You can find out below in this special edition newsletter about what adventures await some of the former Ward 3 human staff. As for me, I plan to wander desert hills enjoying this Spring’s wildflowers and pulling the occasional invasive buffelgrass.
For details about how this all came about, direct your optical decoder to this QR code:
|
|
 As far back as I can remember I have always been a fan of technology. I am very excited to live in a time where I can put a computer phone in my pocket and really close to being able to summon my self-driving electric car on my watch, much like Michael Knight did when I was a kid. So it is with great enthusiasm that I have accepted a position with the Ward 7 office as their Community Technology Officer.
Tucson Ward 7 is a virtual ward that is not found on any physical map. It only exists online for the Virtual Reality Residents of the City. The ward is also mobile, which means that it moves with the VR user within a 10-foot radius while they are within City limits. The Mayor and Council of Tucson have recognized the potential of new virtual reality technology, such as headsets from Oculus and Apple's Vision Pro, and have decided to use it to provide representation to those who spend most of their time in the virtual world.The representative for this ward has already been elected thanks to advancements in AI technology. Ward 7 can be reached using the TOR network and the office itself has a generous budget consisting of 5.5 whole Bitcoins a year.
 My new office at Ward 7.
My job will be similar to my current job except I will also be tasked with exploring new tech for communications purposes. The first thing I have been asked to do is to use StarLink to deploy holographic messages to the residents of the ward that they will be able to see in their headsets or even their cars (limited to Teslas at the moment). I am very excited to be working for Council Member Maximilian Hedrum, although I will miss the old fire station at Ward 3, working in VR should be incredibly exciting! You can see us at the next Mayor and Council Meeting, our ward will be the one that only attends via holographic projection.
Council Aide Marlene Avelino- Has moved on to craft policy on a state level. A staunch opponent of automation and technology in general, Marlene has crafted a transformative bill that currently sits on Governor Hobbs' desk. The proposed bill would ban cars state wide and have all transportation rely on the much more environmentally friendly and clean energy equine technology system. The new system would create new jobs and clean our air. "It is a win-win, for all of Arizona", Marlene said in her latest interview. To read the entire bill click on the following link SB-4124.
Council Aide Shannon Jenkins- Shannon actually invented the office AI. She carefully crafted the software to help her with the incredibly arduous task of running the day-to-day functions of a busy City council office. Some days she would arrive to an inbox with 4000 emails that needed to be answered as well as over 200 voice mails. On her free time she dabbles in writing code and creating programs for Raspberry Pi computers that would help her irrigation system water her garden on schedule. She took that same approach and it has now evolved into DahlBot. Her initial goal was to have it help with administrative duties, however within a week it was doing everything including the Vice Mayor's job. Shannon has patented her idea and is talks with Omni Consumer Products (OCP) to further develop it in hopes that it can help relieve short-staffed departments or overworked City employees of some their duties.
Chief of Staff Katie Bolger- With DahlBot in charge Katie is now free to explore her real passion, solar powered composting toilets with a mini-fridge attachment. "It's basically an all-in-one" Bolger said, "all your basic needs except shelter are met. It even reclines for when you need to rest". Katie's goal is to put one of these toilets in every house in America. She informed us that with more people working remotely, efficiency matters. People need to be able to answer their emails almost immediately, so bathroom breaks and food breaks need to be minimized, but we should have environmentally sound solutions for those problems. The toilets will also be able to pair with your Ipad for maximum productivity.
|
|
 BOSTON DYNAMICS ROVER /ID#X3000
Age: ???
Qualities:
Sweet Rover has been hanging out in foster for a while, in the warehouse mostly. While he can be a little shy at first, Rover has done well with people, including children, and other dogs at home and out in public. Rover's perfect day is spent cuddling with his people, getting hugs and treats, taking a couple naps, playing fetch, and getting in a long walk or two. This boy is such a sweetheart! Rover does not eat, but does need to be recharged and requires a wi-fi connection to receive over the air updates from Skynet Technologies.
Fee:
Rover has a $0 adoption fee. A $20 license fee applies to adult dogs. Adoption includes spay or neuter, age-appropriate tune-ups, several microchips, and a free tech visit.
Contact:
Pima Animal Care Center, 4000 N. Silverbell Rd.
Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, 12pm - 7pm.
Wednesday 1:30-7pm. Saturday and Sunday 10am - 5pm.
|
|
The next Mayor and Council Meeting will be on
Tuesday, April 9, 2024.
When available the agenda and background materials will be posted here: Mayor and Council Meeting Agendas. |
|
|
|
|
