Difficult Conversations
Conversations between friends are easy; there is usually little disagreement, or at least those are fairly minor. But what about those situations when things get tense? That’s when all your skills are needed. Emotions run high, our primitive “flight-or-flight" instinct wants to take over, we become defensive. While these are all normal reactions, they aren’t productive. But what to do?
The first step is to take a breath – this gives your rational brain a chance to engage again.
Remember QTIP: Quit Taking It Personally. Then consider the situation from the other person’s point of view - their experience might be different from yours.
- Acknowledge their concern or issue (“I understand how you could feel that way”).
- Is there a common outcome you both would like to achieve?
- Can you work together? (“We both want X – if you do Y then I can do Z”).
In a highly charged situation remember to model the behavior you’d like to see – speak slowly and quietly, stick to facts, control your emotions.
Thank you to retired MSL Consultant Pam Henley for this communication tip!
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Montana is divided up into six regions. Libraries within those regions have formed a federation. Federations are a formal and informal way to network and improve library services in Montana.
Browse the Federation Notebook for additional information or watch a new video: Understanding Montana's Library Federations.
The six federations are:
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Are you a new trustee? Is your calendar full and you only have a few minutes to fit in some training?
The MSL Consulting staff has created a series of videos to help you learn about different responsibilities and aspects of serving as a public library trustee. You can watch these videos wherever and whenever is convenient for you!
For Certification Program Participants: Individual videos are not eligible for continuing education credits.
New Trustee Training Videos
We’re working hard to add more short videos to our playlist and update older videos with new content.
Please take a look at the two newest titles!
Your Comments, Please!
Our Trustee Training videos collection includes more than 25 videos. What additional topics would you like to see in this playlist?
Please respond to this short survey to help us plan future videos.
Cara Orban
Cara Orban grew up near Tulsa, Oklahoma and attended college and library school in Kansas. She worked in public and academic libraries before moving to Montana with her family in 2012. Cara's prior experience at MSL involved working with statewide consortia to support resource sharing and collaboration. Her favorite part of this work has been learning all about the unique qualities of each Montana library and community, and learning how to help libraries adapt statewide programs to meet local community needs. She is excited to deepen her work with public libraries in this new role. Cara lives in Helena with her husband, two teenage sons, two cats, and three hens. Her hobbies include gardening, arts and crafts, music appreciation, and enjoying the Helena trails system.
Cara started her new position at MSL on May 6, 2024.
Corey Sloan
Corey is excited to join the Montana State Library team after 8 years at the Bozeman Public Library. She grew up a library kid in Jackson, WY, before attending college in Missoula, where she fell madly in love with Montana. After attending graduate school at the University of Texas at Austin, she moved back to the west, where she currently adventures with her husband and dog, Amigo.
Corey Sloan will join the MSL Consulting team in July 2024.
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